The Strawberry Letter: I Think He Perms His Hair

Subject: I think he perms his hair

Dear Steve and Shirley, I’m a 49 year old divorced woman and I was married to an older man that went bald early, so I was the only female in our household that had to worry about hair. I have two sons that were blessed with a curly hair texture, so they were not in the barbershop every week. I’ve never had to deal with any man’s hair issues and I’m almost ashamed to write you guys this letter. I’m dating a man that is 56 years old and he’s from Detroit. Not to slam Detroit in any way, but this brother’s picture should be in the dictionary next to the word ‘soulful.’ We’ve been together for a few months and we’re at the “spend the night” phase because it was past time for us to start having sex. The first time we had sex, he told me that he had to go home, immediately after we finished. He said he didn’t have any of his hair products with him so he had to go. I know just by looking at him, that his hair texture is not real and he has some kind of product helping him get those curls. The roots don’t match the ends and it looks like an afro with curly curls on the ends. When he goes to the barbershop, he’s there for long periods of time. My first cousin just so happens to go to the same barbershop and he called me recently, cracking up. He said he’s heard that my man is still getting perms in 2023. I did not want to believe it, but it makes sense. I sleep in a bonnet and so does he. He won’t shower with me because he said I like it too hot and the steam dries his hair out. Why is he more concerned about his hair than I am about mine? I know for a fact that he uses the hair color that’s just for men, but a perm though? This is the only thing that puts me on pause about him. Should I ask him if he has a perm?


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