I listen to your show all the time and I laugh at some of the letters I hear. However, looking at my own life I realize that I need to write a letter my damn self. I'm a married man of six years. I love my wife. I have since we both said, "I love you" for the first time. I made a promise to her and myself that I would never betray her. Well, I did anyway several times. Yes, that's right. Like all the other cats out there some time ago, I cheated with a few women. My wife knows about my exploits and we've since been to counseling about it. She has since forgiven me and moved on enough to produce our first child. I look at him and I am terrified that in addition to his father being an adulterer, he will end up just like his father weak in the ways of relationships. What I did is a total lack of appreciation for my wife and all she has given me. As far as I know she hasn't strayed, but if she has or ever does, I don't blame her. I probably wouldn't be mad if she did. What really scares me is I can't stop looking at other women and wanting what I can’t have. It's uncontrollable. It's a serious problem. I haven't done anything since the incident, but it's getting harder and harder to resist the urges recently after speaking with a psychiatrist I found that I have bipolar disorder, slash borderline personality disorder. It explains why I have sudden euphoric bursts and uncontrolled energy and destructive low point. I've enrolled into a treatment program, but it doesn't help me with the fact that I hurt the one person on the planet that loves me completely. I don't know what to do now or where to go to make amends or to take away the guilt and regret.
Please help me.
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