When it comes to relationships, you have to be clear about what you want and what you do not want. Communicating is key. You have to know if you want to get married or not. Whether you want to live in a big city or in a small town. Or in the case of this Strawberry Letter, whether you want to have a child or not.
Fortunately for the woman in this letter, she was very clear with her ex that she didn't want to have children. Now that the two have crossed paths, she wants him to leave his current relationship and help him raise his child.
Dear Steve and Shirley,
Let’s get right to it. Here's my dilemma… I’m a 38-year-old woman and I've never wanted to have children. Five years ago, I was in a great relationship and we were talking about getting married, but he wanted children and I did not. So we mutually decided to end our relationship. We could not deny that we were still in love with each other. So two years after we broke up, we reconnected and have been seeing each other off and on since then. While we’ve been spending time together, he started a relationship with a new woman and they had a child together and he couldn’t be happier. He has told me that he wants to marry the woman so that his child will have the kind of upbringing he had, with both parents present. I truly believe now that he has the son he wanted. He and I can get back together and get married. He tells me everyday that he loves me, so why wouldn’t he want to marry me instead of her? If I were an evil woman, I could end it all between him and this woman, by telling her that I’ve been with him the entire time they’ve been together. I have lots of damaging proof that would definitely break them up. Even though I did not want to have children, I can help him raise his son. What do you think I should do? Don’t I deserve to be happy too?
Now this screams "dazed and confused." How is it that a one minute she doesn't want to have a child to next minute, 'let me help your raise your child?" Like, what?
Take a look at what Shirley and Steve have to say.