Let's be real, almost everybody cheats, or at least thinks about cheating. And that's not coming from a personal bitter ex-relationship. Those are just facts!
Yahoo's latest poll sparked an interesting discussion, where Uncle Steve wanted to test Shirley Strawberry and Carla Ferrell's limits. Since apparently 59% of people say they would have a discussion about suspicions of infidelity rather than immediately leave, Unc provoked the question of if the ladies would be just as open-minded if the situation wasn't public knowledge. I mean why not? Beyonce did it.
While several factors go into whether someone stays with an adulter-ing spouse (faith, children, income, etc.) it all just depends on the individual. Well, Shirley and Carla made it very clear they'd gladly join the "Single Ladies" club if it came down to it.
Shirley added if her suspicions were wrong she would beg for forgiveness, BUT would simultaneously threaten him not even to think about stepping out on her. Nephew Tommy was surprised that she'd mix the humility of an apology with a threat, but turns out that scare factor is needed more than you think. A study on Credit Donkey showed that 74% of men admitted they'd have no problem cheating if they knew they could get away with it. Are you shocked? Yeah, me neither.
Don't get it twisted, women aren't squeaky clean angels either. The same survey showed 68% of women would do the same. In fact, Medium's article, "The Future of Infidelity Is Female" made some evolutionary observations catering to today's society of #HotGirlSummer. The 2018 piece states:
"Numbers from the National Opinion Research Center’s 2016 General Social Survey, meanwhile, show that although the percentage of men who admitted to infidelity has held steady over the past two decades, the percentage of wives who reported having affairs rose almost 40 percent — a trend that’s holding steady in 2018, says Tom Smith, director of the survey."
But I'll regress to challenge this perspective. Those threats are just a band-aid on a gunshot wound of insecurities felt within oneself. The Cut elaborately explained that a marriage is doomed immediately the moment one party throws out the atomic "D-bomb": Divorce. Sure it may feel like an effective tool at the time, but once weaponized, there's no going back. There are many reason why one word can blow everything up. A huge factor is that it, "serves to silence the other person, shutting them down, and deflecting the conversation from whatever you don’t want to hear. Now that divorce is on the table, your partner is left unable to connect, request, or simply share what he’s feeling."
What does that mean? You go on having the same issues over and over because the proper communication wasn't had to bring about a resolution.
Junior was very open about the fact that he's "too ugly" to even have a chance to explain himself if he was to test the waters outside of his relationship. Shirley telling him having money could change his outcome didn't bring much comfort. To tell you the truth, it's kind of a good thing it didn't because Ashley Madison, a dating site for rendezvous-seeking married individuals, reported only 30% of women would stay for financial reasons.
Take a listen:
So what's the take away from this slightly depressing news? Well, hopefully a level of comfort.
Say you're channeling your inner Jazmine Sulivan ready to bust some windows only to find out your suspicions were wrong. Don't be too proud to admit you got too hasty too quickly. You're only a small part of the 5% that that happens to.
Or maybe you or your partner succumbed to the deadly "7-year itch." Does that mean all of those wonderful years are down the drain? Not necessarily. There are a number of steps to get passed that hump if that's what you proudly choose to do. Listen to Lemonade and take notes from Insider when you're ready to forgive.