Strawberry Letter: The sad, lonely, crazy girl!

I have a problem.  I am confused and hurt.  There is a guy that I have been on and off with since I was 13 now I’m 22.  At 17 I got pregnant and at 18 I had our beautiful daughter.  Problem is I have had nothing but heartache since day 1 with him.   I love him he took my virginity and we have been through a lot with each other.  At this point I do not think he is the one for me but my question to you, Steve, does he or  has he ever loved me?  He says all the time if he didn’t love me we wouldn’t have went as far as we have but when my baby told me he had her in the bed with another girl and I confronted him about it, his response was, I did this to us meaning he wanted me to have an abortion. I have done pretty much everything he has asked me to do. I have gone out of my way to make sure he is happy and that I don’t do anything to upset him. He tells me when is ready to get married I will be the one but when he gets mad he says he doesn’t want me. Then on top of all that he calls me the crazy girl. I hit him with the car once but he called me the b word and dared me to do it and I threw a knife at his head another time but he drug me around the whole house by my hair.  He makes it seem to other people that he is innocent and I am crazy.  The difference is I will blow up in front of any and everybody but he waits until we are done.  So does he or has he ever loved me and if not Shirley how do I let him go?  Signed confused hurt and broken.