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Hi Shirley and Steve.  

I am a 40 year old black female and I have found myself in a no win situation.  For the past few months, I have been seeing a married man and not really sure why I am settling or doing this.  We see each other Friday night.  We don’t have to call each other because we are used to seeing each other that day and pretty much know its only sex.  His wife phoned me and was questioning why I was calling her husband and leaving him messages.  I told her that she should speak to him and not me and I hung up.  I was so ashamed but have continued to see him.  I have been to her home several times because her job requires her to be away at least a day or so during the week.  They have three boys together and I don’t want or expect him to leave his wife.  There were times when I know my self-esteem was in the gutter but now that I am revamped and I am doing things for myself and working on me I am feeling a lot better about me and I know this is not for me.  Even if he wasn’t with his wife, he would not be a man that I would want a permanent relationship with.  How can I break this off so I can continue to work on me and be a better woman and eventually find the man of my dreams.  

Signed, Sideline.

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