She cheated, but I’m the problem?


 Dear Steve and Shirley, 

I was with my girlfriend for 12 years and we never got married because of her constant cheating. I tried to break up with her back in 2015, but we got back together because her car and her house are in my name. After we got back together, I caught her cheating seven times, but I’m sure there were times that I don’t know about. The first time I found out, I had put voice recorders in our bedroom and in her car, just to make sure I wasn’t crazy. I heard her phone conversations about planning to have sex soon with a guy that was being released from prison and I also found out that she went out of town to meet some guy. Three weeks after that, I found out there was another guy she was messing with. When I confronted her and let her hear the proof, she begged for forgiveness. Like a fool, I forgave her. What made it so hurtful, was that she told these guys very nasty things about me, like I am not a real man and I’m weak. The final straw was when I overheard her tell her girlfriend that I was too possessive and she is annoyed to come home to me. I kicked her out for good. Now my confidence with women is shot and I feel like I must be extremely unattractive for a woman to cheat on me so many times. Maybe I am weak. 

How do I get more respect in my next relationship? 

Please give me some advice.

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