Dear Steve and Shirley,
I’m in my early forties and I’ve been married for 20 years.
My husband is a good and decent man, but he is very shy and his shyness spills over into our sex life. When we first met in college, he was great in bed and wasn’t ashamed to say what he wanted from me. Nowadays, he doesn’t show me any public displays of affection and the worst part is that he’s been acting shy in the bedroom! He darn near asks for permission to have sex with me. If I say I’m tired, he’ll just give up. It’s as if we just met and he doesn’t know me sexually at all. I’ve told him that he needs to be more dominant in the bedroom…
I want a tiger! I do not want to be in control. That turns me off.
I want a man that can say what he wants and not be so nice about it! I want to be turned on. I want to be excited about sex again. I don’t want to cheat. He gets so upset when I tell him what I want in bed, so I’ve stopped trying. I don’t want to divorce my husband of 20 years, just so I can have some good sex. Help me… I’ve tried “toys” to help me out, but that wasn’t enough.
What should I do?
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