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I want my husband all to myself

Dear Steve and Shirley, 

I have a problem with my husband's ex-wife not respecting my place as his new wife. We got married a few months ago and his ex-wife needs to respect me as the boss of this family now. She has never liked me because I dated my husband while he was still married to her. We dated on and off for over 16 years while they were married and we lived together for 5 years before we got married. My husband has twins with his ex-wife. The ex-wife is always trying to talk to him about his twins and his twins are old enough to speak for themselves… they are 15 years old. 

I also think that the twins are old enough to stop coming for visits each week.

My husband and I need our private time together on the weekends. The ex-wife is only sending these twins over so they can report back to her what’s going on in our household. The daughter does not like me and is mad because I make her keep her things in a suitcase when she comes over to visit. And her twin brother just follows her lead. I have told my husband that he no longer needs joint custody and these twins are old enough to stay home. My husband just gets mad and uses that as an excuse to stay out at all hours of the night, so he doesn’t have to deal with me. I'm at my wits end. 

What should I do to get through to my husband? It’s my turn! 

Please advise.