Hey Steve, simple but complicated.
Married three years. Husband 26 I'm 31. We both work and see each other in passing. He hangs out with friends at times and I'm pretty much a loner. He has high school girlfriends that he talks to periodically through e-mail. Now old friend is having a birthday party but he doesn't want me to go said his friends are his friends and that he would feel awkward just inviting me since it's probably going to be only his friends from high school there as if they don't have any significant other to join them at the party says I can come along to the next party after he is comfortable with being around his friends again. Mind you these are high school friends so he hasn't seen them in Lord knows how many years and he wants to claim only high school people who all went to the same school will be there. How does that sound to you. Another incident. He started his job. They had a little after work graduation event where as he said they played cards but playing cards all night till 5 a.m. and not calling home or not even say honey meet me at work so you can go with me. See what kind of mess is that. I feel like he doesn't want me to be around when he hangs out with his friends. Mind you I might not be in the mood to go but he doesn't even give me the opportunity to say no. You go ahead without me. This makes me feel insecure especially considering we don't spend much time together at all. When he comes home at night I'm usually waiting up for him so we can have a general conversation but he wants to play video games till 5 in the morning so he doesn't even come to bed at night. Then we have some times that he will come in the room so I don't complain and stay there till I fall asleep or until he thinks I've fallen asleep and then off to that video game. But you let someone else want his time it's given. I feel so alone and so unneeded. It hurts I'm hurting. I feel like committing myself to some hospital because I need some of his time that he isn't giving. I've debated with myself asking Am I too needy or imagining things but I just can't put my finger on it. He used to be so much more attentive and caring about caring but now he complains and tells his female friends how tired he is of my arguing we have no communication if we do talk, it turns into an argument. Another thing is I can't depend on him to help with things around the house he always forgets or wants time for himself so I'm basically doing everything myself. You know that saying I can do bad by myself. I even question what I need him around for since he doesn't help around the house and doesn't spend time with me. Why are we together. I asked him that one day he said marriage is about stature and not about emotions and feelings so that makes me think oh you want to be with me because I got some money and take care of my business. I guess Tina's right. What's love got to do with it? I know he's not cheating. Can't tell you how I know but we women have our ways but I know I'm hoping he grows out of it soon. We're on the medication just to calm my nerves. He has a great personality great with our boys great financially but lacks the drive to take care of home and business first. I think he is tired and or bored with me no matter how high my stilettos are. I am financially stronger a little and secure from previous marriage and how he's acting does it help me feel needed or loved as I should. He used to be there. Now I feel he just wants to do what he wants when he wants. I'm not a roommate I'm a wife. I've told him that. Also I told him if he wanted to live a single life and not have any responsibility then that's what he should do. But he won't leave. He says he's not going anywhere in the meantime I'm supposed to just accept this Steve Steve a brother don't know that when you start not being at home a sister gets lonely and then all hell breaks loose. I may be 31 but I look 22 and an opportunity to go out on a date is given every time I walk out my front door. willing to hang in there and go the long haul but I'm lonely and I miss my husband. My friend.