The Strawberry Letter: He Won't Let Me Lead

Subject: He won’t let me lead

Dear Steve and Shirley, I’m a 40-something married female and I knew that my husband cheated on me for years and I finally gave him an ultimatum at the end of January. We talked and both said we didn’t want to end our marriage, so we decided to do things a little differently so he wouldn’t get bored in the bedroom. I met his girlfriend and she was honest about their relationship. She said it was only for the sex and she’d been asking to involve me in their sexcapades. I was drawn to her sexy lips and cute little hips so I initiated the first intimate act with her. It was just me and her and we let my husband watch. After that night, things immediately got better for my husband and I in the bedroom. Two weeks later, we invited her over for the weekend while our children were with my parents. Since it was my first threesome, I wanted to control the positions and lead everything until I got comfortable watching him with another woman. We started off the weekend like we were at a resort. I got a charcuterie board and caviar and we put three big steaks on the grill. We enjoyed our hot tub and pool together and my husband massaged us both in the bedroom. But then things went sour when the intimacy started. He was focused on her and ignored my requests. They were next to me whispering to each other intimately and when he finally got to me, the only whisper he gave me was to tell me I was ruining the night with all of my directions. I was stunned. When it was over, she decided to go home and my husband got upset with me. I’ve tried calling her to fix things and she’s not returning my calls. Have they shut me out? Is he really mad because I tried to lead or because he wants this other chick?