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The Strawberry Letter: Your Place or Mine

Subject: Your place or mine

Dear Steve and Shirley, I’m 57 and my boyfriend is 62. His grown children live with him and my father lives with me. We can’t catch a break when it’s time to be intimate. I’ve tried to sneak out to the garage late at night and have my boyfriend meet me there, but if my dad hears the alarm chime, he’s up and at ‘em, trying to see what’s going on. I snuck my man into my bedroom one night and the next morning, my dad bust through my door to tell me that he had cooked breakfast. I can’t put him out because my mom did. I don’t want to hurt his feelings because I’ve always been a daddy’s girl. But at my age, it’s time for him to cut me loose so I can have some fun. I was married forever and after my divorce, he became over-protective of me. This drives my boyfriend crazy because he wants to be Mr. Wonderful in my life. He and my dad have talked about my dad stepping back and my dad told him if he stepped up and asked me to marry him, then that would solve everything. My dad knows that neither of us wants to be married again and we’re content in our relationship. My boyfriend’s children are 30 and 28 years old and they’ve both moved back home because they’re still trying to find employment and they blame Covid for not working. I can’t spend time over at his house because his daughter doesn’t keep a clean house and quite frankly, the kids don’t want me over there. So, here we are and there’s always the question… “Your place or mine,” when we want to be together. He tells me to talk to my dad and I tell him to talk to his grown children. Please help us settle this because I love my dad and he loves his sorry, grown children. Why is he letting his children come between us like this?