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The Strawberry Letter: Bless This Blended Mess


Subject: Bless this blended mess

Dear Steve and Shirley, I’m a 47 year old married woman and we have a four bedroom house. I have two children from a previous relationship and my husband has a grown son by his ex-wife. His parents are living with us temporarily because his son has a baby and they want to be here for their great grandchild. My mom lives with us too. She’s always lived with me and when I got married, I asked her to move upstairs so my husband and I can have the big downstairs bedroom with the ensuite bath. This is when my mom started hating my husband and finding all kinds of things wrong with him, from having stinky feet to how his hairline is receding. I have put my mother in a room upstairs that has a jack-and-jill bath and my husband’s grown son shares a bathroom with her. He has his fair share of complaints with my mom and my husband and I have talked about putting him out, but he’s got a newborn to save up for. He has asked if the baby’s mother and the baby can move in, too, and we both said a big “hell no!” So, my 2 daughters, ages 11 and 13 are constantly upstairs fighting because they have to share a room. With these ridiculous house prices, we can’t afford to move and we’re about to lose our minds. My husband said my mom is bad for our marriage and she should go move in with her boyfriend. We both think his son should leave. My husband’s mom and dad are taking up our whole basement and his dad is a sleep walker and he pees in the bed. I had no idea that getting married would be so miserable. My husband seems to forget this was my house and I welcomed him and his family, so I should get to choose who’s going and who’s staying. Am I right or wrong?