Subject: He’s never in the mood
Dear Steve and Shirley, my husband and I are 27 years old and newly married. We’ve been together for a total of seven years and we waited until we got married to have sex. I should’ve seen that as a red flag, but I didn’t. We are die-hard Christians, so I thought he was just being obedient. He never pressured me for sex and there were nights I thought I was going to lose my mind, because I wanted him so badly. He’s got the total package and knows what to do with it. I was pleasantly surprised on my wedding night and I fell more in love with him after our first intimate connection. I want to keep connecting now, but he’s never in the mood. When I met him, he said sex has never been a major thing to him. I told him it was everything to me, if I loved someone. Granted, I was only 20 years old at the time, but I had been having sex since high school and I really, really like it. I waited 7 years for him and nowadays I have to coerce him into being intimate. He’ll take a shower, put on pajamas and curl up next to me in bed, wanting to talk about his day. He said that’s what his parents did and they have a perfect marriage. He got upset when I told him that I’m sure they’re doing more than reading books and chatting in their bed. I can be naked and oiled up when he comes home from work and he’ll kiss me on the forehead, pat me on the butt and say something stupid like, “You’re going to get grease all over the couch.” I wondered if he isn’t sexually attracted to me, but he assured me that he is. He’s insisting there’s no problem and I need to calm myself and focus on other things. I’m trying not to focus on another man and I am being patient. Am I wrong to want to make love to my husband?