Subject: She’s too phony and bony now
Dear Steve and Shirley, I’ve been married for 4 years to the love of my life. When we met, she had just had a handsome baby boy and we bonded over us both being heartbroken. I was engaged to a self-centered woman before I met my wife and 2 weeks before our wedding, she ghosted me. My wife had been dating a man for a long time and when she got pregnant, he ghosted her. We were two damaged friends that became lovers. I have raised her son as my own and loved her through her weight challenges. I knew she was bigger when we met because she just had a baby. When she was still overweight a year later, we started eating healthier and I encouraged her to lose weight. We got a trainer and she went and got a breast reduction. When the weight came off, she got a lot of new clothes and she let her hair grow and she got a perm. It was like her attitude changed overnight and she was very uppity all of a sudden. I suggested she ease up on working out because she lost all of her curves. She started hanging out with her trainer and the trainer’s friends, who are all skinny, single, airheads that drink a lot and like to be in the streets. My wife started wearing emerald contacts and she wants some kind of cosmetic procedure on her chin. Our son will be 5 in 2 months and she wants to rent a venue for his party because she said my house is not adequate enough. She puts her tiny little butt in lingerie before sex and her moans sound so phony like we’re in a porno. I can’t keep up with the new woman she’s become and I hope she doesn’t tell me that I am not enough for her. How do I get my juicy, down-to-earth wife back?