Subject: Can I change his mindset?
Dear Steve and Shirley, Iāve been dating a man for six years and we live with his parents in a two-bedroom house. We had to move in with them in 2020 after he lost his job. I donāt have any family in this town, so I agreed to stay there temporarily, but he just started working 4 months ago. He couldnāt find a job in his field for a long time so I was relieved when he started working full-time because I thought we would finally get our own place. Their house is small and our bedroom is directly across from his parentās bedroom. His mom uses the dining room as her sewing room and thatās where she smokes her cigarettes and you can smell the smoke all over the house. Itās a madhouse. Theyāre in their room having sex and we are in our room having sex in our full-sized bed. There is one bathroom and the shower does not work, so we all have to take baths. This is sheer torture for me, but I love this man. I often ask myself why I put up with this. Iām 29 and I can do better. I can find a man with his own place, a great job, and sane parents. I have invested 6 years into this and I want him to stop being complacent and get us out of here. Heās happy with the home-cooked meals, watching movies with his parents, holidays with them, etc., but I want out. My mother came to visit me and she got a hotel room. I stayed with her for 2 nights and it was nice to take a shower, have a bed to myself and not have to talk to his mother. My mother told me to be patient with him and things will work out. Should I move out and break up with him or should I follow my motherās advice? Can I change his mindset or is he too far gone? Please advise