The Strawberry Letter: My Man, His Van, His Band

Subject: My man, his van, and his band

Dear Steve and Shirley, I’ve been dating a musician for almost 2 years and he’s so different from anyone I’ve ever dated. We met at an engagement party and the bride-to-be begged me to give him a chance. He is a black hippie that sings R&B cover songs. Wrap your mind around that. He has a 3 piece band, all females. He had the most beautiful smile and I was attracted to his fluffy beard so I decided to give him a try. He teaches high school and he performs on the weekends. I’m an executive assistant so our worlds collide in the way we dress and how we spend our free time. He likes that I am different and he calls me “Ms. Uppity” all the time. He used to drive to nearby cities to perform and I would ride with him, when it was just me and him. Then he decided he needed a van so he could provide transportation for his band. I thought he was putting an awful lot into his side gig but I let him be. I stopped traveling with him because I was not going to ride with 3 other females whose conversation was like talking to third graders. His van needs a lot of work and I was worried that he was going to break down on the highway one day, and he did! I went to get him and he wanted the girls in the band to ride back with us. I suggested they call their family or significant others to come get them. He did not like that and he said they are a unit and if they can’t go, he was staying with them. He’s my man and my only responsibility. I really want him to realize that he is not a superstar and he should focus on getting promoted to a principal at his school, which he’s been recommended for. He’s 49 years old and it’s time to give up the van and the band. Am I wrong?