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The Strawberry Letter: What Does She Have That I Don't

Subject: What does she have that I don’t?

Dear Steve and Shirley, I’m married to a man that is 3 years my senior and he is causing me so much anxiety. His first wife is a big girl and the woman he dated after his divorce was thick too. When we met, he called me nicknames like “lil bit” and “tiny tot” so I asked him if he had a problem with my size. I am 5’3 and I have a tiny frame, but everything is proportionate. He has been making me feel like I’m not thick enough. His ex-wife is still a big part of his life. They grew up together and she’s very close to his mother, too. We can be having dinner at his mother’s house and the ex-wife will pop in to say hello. It was fine at first but now it’s giving me a lot of anxiety because I think my husband is secretly having an affair with her. I overheard him and his cousin talking about how his ex-wife is controlling and lazy, then my husband said that there was something that always kept him going back to her for years. What is it that kept him going back? What does she have that I don’t? I own a creative dance studio and I am a home health nurse part-time. When we got married, he told me that he would support me leaving nursing altogether so I could focus on my dance studio. That has not happened. Instead, he paid off the car that he bought his ex-wife before their divorce. He said he owed her that. I take great care of my man and sex used to be great between us but now he rations it out to me. He has told me I need ‘a little more cushion for the pushing’ and I’m sure that means that my booty is too small for him. I blame all of this on his big-boned ex. What does this chick have that I don’t