Subject: Whose side is he on?
Dear Steve and Shirley, my husband and I bicker a lot and he repeats things to his mama and daddy and they judge me from what he’s told them. Over the holidays, we went to his parents’ house in Ohio and I was miserable the entire time because his mom is a trip. Before we got married, we had a huge argument in front of his parents and his mother told me that I should know my place with my husband and stop challenging him whenever he tells me things. I understood that and promised myself that I would do better. Her advice has continued, and four years later, she still only has advice for me when my husband and I get into arguments. Yes, we argue over stupid stuff all the time. His dad knows the stuff is stupid, but he’s always on my husband’s side. I texted an online therapist for help and was told that if the group thinks I’m wrong, then I’m wrong. So, I need your opinion. I take care of all of our laundry and drycleaning. My husband will want to wear a particular shirt one day but it’s still at the dry cleaners. I told him to communicate with me and that can stop happening. He will say things like we don’t have any children so why can’t I go to the dry cleaner more often. His parents have agreed with him on little issues like this, when the underlying issue is they’re mad because they want grandchildren and I’m not ready. I’m not having a baby with a man that talks down to me and picks fights over petty BS. When his mom talks to me crazy and I tell her to watch her tone, he sides with her. I don’t have my family in our personal affairs, so why can’t he keep them out of our business?