The Strawberry Letter: I'm Stuck Between A Sister and a Brother

Dear Steve and Shirley, for the past year I have been sleeping with my best friend’s little sister. When I went to college, I lost all contact with her until we reconnected last year at her brother's Fourth of July party. I hadn't seen this woman since she was a young girl and oh my God, she’s aged like fine wine. I'm 14 years older than her but we're all grown now, and the Lord took his time with that body. That evening, we caught up, had a few drinks shared some laughs and as the night progressed we ended up in her brother's coat closet. This woman did things to me that I've never had done to me. Since then, we have become increasingly close and we've talked about taking it to the next step. She’s said it's of the utmost importance that we go about this the right way and tell her brother about us. The problem is, her brother is a 6’6 bodybuilder that is very protective of his sister. He's a hot head because of his size and he's always ready for a confrontation over the smallest stuff. I have personally never had a disagreement with him out of all of the years we've been friends so I'm skeptical on telling him face-to-face. I don't want to clash with him, but I really love his sister. It's been almost a year, and the sneaking around is getting old. I hope he can process the information in a mature manner. To put things in perspective, her brother and I are in our mid-40s and we have been friends since the eighth grade. I never had these kinds of feelings for his sister when we were young, so I need to be clear about that upfront. How should this go? Should we do it together or should I talk to her brother alone first? Please advise.