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The Strawberry Letter: I Know My Man's Hands

Dear Steve and Shirley,

I'm a 36-year-old married woman, and my husband is 38. I'm pregnant with my second child, and I'm too far along to travel, so my husband went to his baby sister's wedding without me. He's from Detroit, and his ex-wife and 12-year-old son live there.

When we first met, he would go to Detroit to visit with his son, and he would stay at his old home where his ex-wife still lives. He tried to rationalize it by saying he still pays for the house, so he's not going to go to Detroit and pay for a hotel room. After I broke up with him for doing it, he started either staying in a hotel or staying with his cousin.

Going back and forth to Detroit has always been an issue with me because he gets ghost when he's there. He tells me that it's because he puts his phone down so he can be present and in the moment with his son, but I think he's over there with his ex-wife playing house. When I noticed I was nagging him about it, I stopped mentioning it. Now when he is there, if he ignores my calls, I ignore his. I hate playing games at this age, but I have to get his attention somehow.

So back to the topic at hand. My husband went to Detroit for his sister's wedding, and he told me that his ex-wife was invited. I cannot argue with that because she will be linked to the family forever through their son. I saw photos days after the wedding, and his ex-wife was in a lot of pictures with the family. One picture was taken of her back, and there was a hand on her lower back right at her butt. It was my husband's right hand. He can deny it all he wants, that's right. I know my man's hands. I'm going crazy thinking he was with his ex all weekend. Is it not his responsibility to make me think otherwise?